David Crease

1928  Born 10 miles from London Bridge,  too far to be a Cockney, not quite far enough to be a proper Kentish man.

1938 – 46  Bluecoat boy at Christ’s Hospital.  Learned Latin and Greek.

1946 – 48  Radar mechanic in RAF.  Learned how to plug in wires using matchsticks.

1948 – 55  Learned to be an architect and structural engineer at Cambridge and Edinburgh.  Appeared on stage at Edinburgh Festival as dumb Mastersinger.  Designed steel frame for Turnhouse airport terminal (since demolished)..  Decided to be an architect.

1956 – 1963 Worked as architect in Hong Kong (hospital), London (offices) and Brasilia (office of Oscar Niemeyer).  Lingered too long at Rio carnival, sacked by ON on return to office.

1964 – 1987 Wangled job with old friend at new university.  Worked as architect (housing south of Heslington campus).  Pilloried in Private Eye for daring to build a housing co-op next to Beverley Minster: ‘What is the point of [the University of York] if it produces architects like Mr Crease and his rubbishy and objectionable designs?’  Received earwigging on that subject from Joan Bakewell (she left her handkerchief behind!).  Went on to build some 60 schemes involving 2000 rubbishy houses and objectionable flats in various parts of York (Bishop’s Wharf, Monkgate Cloisters etc.) and Yorkshire, some winning awards from misguided judges.

1969 -   Gave wife Jane as wedding present Trinket (a bloodhound bitch).  Went on with her (Jane) to produce daughter Hermione and several generations of bloodhounds.

Ended up in very small castle (you can see it looking south from Scampston bridge) surrounded by rabbits and moles.